


Who Done It

by galaxymoth



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, even you, even you yamaguchi, everyone is trying to play detective, romance detectives lmfao, they are all oblivious to the obvious signs, this is so dumb
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-15
Updated: 2016-02-15
Packaged: 2018-05-20 17:53:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6019546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/galaxymoth/pseuds/galaxymoth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tsukishima Kei has hickeys on his neck and no one on the entire volleyball team can figure out who could ever get close enough to the wall of salt to leave them there. The volleyball club suddenly becomes a detective debate club.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Who Done It

**Author's Note:**

> this fic is completely self indulgent and im just having fun with it because kurootsuki is my passion

It was the world's biggest mystery. That reddish-purple bruise on Tsukishima's neck was... It just shouldn't have been there. Noya was the first to see it when they were changing before practice. He reported it to Tanaka and Hinata, who in turn reported it to Daichi and Kageyama, who told Suga and Yachi about it. Pretty soon it had spread throughout almost the entire Karasuno volleyball club.  
  
Of course, the rumor had to be verified. Therefore, when they were changing out of their sweat drenched outfits after practice, everyone glanced at least once at the pale expanse that was Tsukishima Kei's neck. Every single one of them could see that bruise nestled in the comfortable spot between the blonde's collar bone and neck. It was very obvious, and it didn't seem like anyone had even attempted to hide it. The real question though, was who in the world could have possibly left it there? It seemed that if anyone could get close even to Tsukishima to leave a hickey, they would have to be a god of some sort. Or be gifted in the art of mind control. 

Tsukishima said something to Yamaguchi about needed to get home, and then he exited to locker room like nothing was wrong in the world. Or at least like he wasn't hiding a huge secret of some kind of romantic relationship from the rest of his team. They hid their stares as best they could as he exited, and once the door clicked shut, all eyes were trained on Yamaguchi. The brunet seemed to shrink under everyone's gazes, not exactly understanding why he was the chosen target here.

"WAS IT YOU?" Tanaka was the first to break the silence with his tasteless accusation. They were all closing in around Yama like a pack of hungry animals surrounding an injured baby deer. It was the most horrifying situation imaginable.

"No !!! I'm just as confused as you all !!!" Even Yamaguchi didn't know about this aspect of his childhood friend's life. That made this situation suddenly 1000 times more important. The crows fell back and started bickering among themselves, trying to figure out who could has done this and why none of them knew. Surely they would have noticed a someone getting so close to Tsukishima !

"Everyone SHUT UP !" Daichi yelled. The noise had started to hurt his head which was already still working its way through understanding the current situation.

"If we talk this through, we might be able to figure out what happened." Suga reasons, and they all flopped down in a big circle in the locker room. Some of the boys still weren't even wearing their shirts, but no one really cared. There was a more important matter to be discussed.

Hinata's phone dinged, and he looked down at the screen to see a message from Kenma. He put his phone on do not disturb as it wouldn't disrupt this very important conversation, because that was obviously a good idea.

It was silent for a moment, until the first question arose from the group. "Well, who does he talk to?"  
  
"Yamaguchi ?"

"Sometimes Hinata and Kageyama, if he feels the need to rag on someone."

"Maybe his mom?"

"Ew, don't mention his parents while we're trying to figure this out."

"Oh, right."

There was another extended period of silence, before they all looked at Yamaguchi again. "Is there anyone he talks to in class? Like a cute girl? Or a stranger who he seems to be oddly close to?"

"Uh, not really." Yamaguchi responded, looking up at the ceiling as he tried to figure out this situation. How did he, of all people, not know who could have possibly left a hickey on his best friends neck ?

"Who else does he talk to?"

"Well he did talk to Kuroo and Bokuto and Akaashi at the last training camp."

"Yeah, but they're all way out of his league."

"Good point, Hinata."

"Could it just be an accident? Like a vacuum cleaner malfunction?"

"Why would a vacuum cleaner be that close to his neck?"

"Uh maybe he decided to clean up his nasty attitude?"

The intense detective work was paused for a moment for a lot of snickering over that, and Hinata glanced down at his phone again to check the time. He didn't want to be late for dinner after all. Man, there were 5 messages from Kenma. Oh well, surely it wasn't that important. Back into his bag his phone went!

"Maybe it was one of his brother's friends?"

"Ew, they would be way too old for Tsukishima."

"Who knows? Maybe he's into that."

"No, surely Tsukki would be smarter than to go out with someone that much older than him."

"They're probably using him! Older guys always just want to get in younger guy's pants! What if Tsukishima's in love with this guy and the dickweed couldn't even care less about it other than his butt!"

"I'm pretty sure it's not one of his brother's friends."

"Then WHO ?"

"Hinata, Kenma just texted me to tell you to text him back." Well Kageyama definitely silenced the conversation for a minute there. Hinata groaned and got his phone back out to text his friend back. There were 8 texts and a missed call.

[ Kenma : hey is tsukishima still at practice ]

[ Kenma : kuro left his phone here and his mom wants to know what time he'll be home tomorrow ]

[ Kenma : can you at least give me tsukishima's number ? ]

[ Kenma : hinata his mom won't leave my house, please. ]

And then there were a few repeating texts that were just Kenma repeating Hinata's name.

Kageyama and Noya were reading over the redhead's shoulder, and the room was filled with a heavy silence. And then the door opened.

"Why are you all still here?" Tsukishima remarked from the doorway, and standing behind him was a certain messy haired captain. "I left my notebook and I was honestly surprised that the door was unlocked." He walked in and grabbed the aforementioned notebook off the floor and walked back to Kuroo. "Let's go. We'll be late for dinner."

No one was breathing.

Kuroo was totally out of Tsukishima's league.

The world was ending.

The Karasuno boys slowed finished getting dressed, packed their things, and parted ways. They all considered how attractive Tsukishima was that night, because they had obviously been blinded by his absolutely horrid personality. Or Kuroo was blind and had a sodium deficiency. How else could he deal with Tsukki ?

 

**Author's Note:**

> you can follow me on tumblr ! my url is eerieprince !


End file.
